I Couldn’t Make This Up if I Tried
I love running into people who are so unbelievable that they are better than any fictional character you could ever invent. I had the pleasure of encountering such an individual over the course of the past semester. My officemate had a particular student in her class who would come to the office every single Wednesday and have the exact same conversation, with only slight variations on a theme. Shall I provide you with an example?
Student: I need to talk to you about the final exam.
Office Mate: It is going to be just like the practice exams we have been doing in class.
S: But what will it be like?
OM: (Pause) It will be an essay exam just like the practice exams we have been doing in class.
S: Will I pass the exam?
OM: I don’t know. But if you have been doing well on the practice exams, then you will do well on the final.
S: So if I’m doing well on the practice exams, then I will pass the final exam?
OM: There’s a good chance that if you are doing well on the practice exams that you will do well on the final exam.
S: But will I pass the final exam?
OM: (Pause) I don’t know. I can’t tell you that.
S: (Pause) The final exam will be just like the practice exams?
OM: (Pause) Yes.
S: (Pause) So if I am passing the practice exams, then I will pass the final exam?
OM: (Pause) I don’t know. I can’t predict the future.
S: (Pause) So what will the final exam be like?
OM: (Pause) An essay exam–just like the practice exams.
S: So will I pass?
And on, and on, and on . . .
Seriously, I wish I were making this up, but I’m not.
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